Made you Laugh

Several years ago I heard that the  average four-year-old laughs 300 times a day. The average 40-year-old? Only four. While this statistic has now been relegated to urban legend, it had its’ influence on me. I knew children laughed way more than adults. Current studies suggest that children enjoy 15-20 daily laughs more than adults. I decided I wasn't going through life and only laugh 4 times a day.

Me & my Mum at a Mad Hatter Tea.

As a result of this early intention; I have received compliments on my hearty laughs, (and a few annoyed looks) and I sure enjoy my life more. When I engage in some intentional laughter, it means I have taken myself less seriously, good for the soul.

What exactly does it mean to "intentionally laugh"? Sometimes called Laugh Therapy intentional laughing is anything that provides a full-scale workout for your muscles and unleashes a rush of stress-busting endorphins. Since our bodies cannot distinguish between real and fake laughter, anything that makes you giggle will have a positive impact.  You do not need to be happy or even have a sense of humor to benefit from a good laugh. You can  ha, ha, ha, ho, ho, ho like a hearty fake Santa to get some benefit. Best to practice these ho hoes with at least one another person, one of you will giggle and then so will the other.

Norman Cousins famously chronicled the effects of his self-prescribed "laughing cure" in his book Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient (W.W. Norton, 1979, 2001, 2005). Cousins, who suffered from inflammatory arthritis, claimed that 10 minutes of hearty guffawing while watching Marx Brothers movies brought him two hours of pain-free sleep.

When we are in the serious business of taking care of someone ill, or experiencing illness ourselves, we often forget to laugh, or even think it is inappropriate. But the best comics know the tragic side of life and choose to make us laugh anyway. Here are some ways our family keeps laughing, even during some truly challenging times.

We dress up kooky just for fun. When my daughter pulls out the Marilyn Monroe wig and puts on the shades, I crack up every single time. I am chuckling now remembering how her young cousin's eyes widened at the transformation.

We tell stories on each other. Stories that may not have been terribly funny while they were happening; like when you realized that the back of your dress was tucked into your waistband and the back of your skirt was actually your slip. Do you have any stories that sound like this?

We act silly.

Finally, we practice Cousins' prescription of watching funny movies and go to events that feed our funny bone. Here is one event coming up locally that is also a benefit supporting mental health services.

Laugh Loud, Sing Proud! is a comedy event which will be at Kings, 

August 1, 2015 at 8:00PM

14 W. Martin St., Raleigh, NC 27601

Admission: Advance $10-$100

919.833.1091

Stars & Charts and Activity Aprons

Did your elementary school teacher put a sticker on your papers when you had done a particularly good job? Was there a classroom chart which featured stars to record progress? Do you own a Little League award, a sports jersey, a framed commendation from work?

From childhood through adulthood we are hard-wired to respond to physical demonstrations of appreciation and praise; the more personal and sometimes conspicuous the better. Ponder the array of award shows on air today.

Motivational styles vary, but it is a rare person who does not appreciate a physical expression of recognition for work well-done.

How does one chart progress, growth, or accomplishment when caring for someone whose abilities are in decline?

You have to unwind the chart mentality. By this I don't mean resigning yourself to going backwards. I mean intentionally sitting with the star of a present moment to celebrate a present day victory.

Recently a caregiver and her family introduced the use of an activity or sensory apron. Activity aprons are garments made with sensory tasks sewn on; zippers, buttons, textured materials, pockets. They are designed to reduce agitation in person suffering from Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia.

When this particular client had the apron placed upon her lap, she immediately became engaged in the tasks provided. She quieted and then became receptive to other directions. She ultimately allowed her caregiver to give her a bath, something she had been actively resisting for some time. I know we are disinclined to celebrate giving someone a bath. But for this family and their caregiver, this was a star moment. Shiny for the day. I've observed that caregiving brings joy to those who can collect those stars of mostly unobserved victories, and place them not on a chart, but in their hearts.

Activity Aprons can be bought or made. Sew Fishsticks shows you how to make a pretty one and Pinterest has various examples of activity pillows and lap blankets that serve the same purpose. Amazon features a few companies that sell them.

I would love to hear about your star moments.